Control on False Ego for Happy Relationships

Control on False Ego for Happy Relationships

Ego is one of the factors that plays very crucial role in relationships. Everyone has ego. Ego is a perception about the self, rather than what you really are. When the perception about self is wrong it may be called false ego. I call this false ego a villain because it really plays the nasty role of coming in the way of loved ones and ruining the sweet relationships. The relationships may be between boyfriend and girlfriend, parents and children, employer and employee or wife and husband. For happy relationship you must stay away from false ego. We come across numerous cases including celebrities in which ego has ruined the relationships. There are different ways to control false ego to maintain happy relationships.

Nancy and Tony had been dating each other for six months. One day while Tony went to meet Nancy at her house, Henry, her neighbor was sitting close to her and kind of stalking though Nancy had no interest in him. Incidentally, Nancy’s old friend Maria, a sexy girl also happened to come there. The scenario was romantic but weird. Nancy thought Tony was flirting with Maria and Tony thought Nancy already had a second boyfriend. From next day both stopped meeting each other. Tony thought it was Nancy’s fault for keeping him blind about her affair with Henry and Nancy thought Tony was impressed by Maria because e she was more appealing than her. The false ego kept both of them thinking that the other person was wrong so why should I explain my side. Eventually parents of Tony and Nancy managed to cast away their misunderstanding and both got married. Such examples of, “I’m right, why should I” are many and many good couples get separated for ever. Therefore open communication,

keeping aside ego can solve problems.

We frequently get to read news like this. “A ninth grader boy leaves home for being scolded by his parents for not getting good grade.” “A teen girl cuts her wrist for being warned by mom not to chat with the guys.” These are the typical examples of how false ego plays cruel role. The boy thinks, “Though I am not getting good grade I have some valid reasons for it and I am perfectly right. Parents have no right to humiliate me because after all it is my life.”

The girl thinks, “What is wrong if I chat with my friends! Other girls in my school do the same thing and they are never controlled by their parents. Am I not free to do what I like? Mom never lets me do what I like. I am a matured girl; I know everything.” This mindlessness and irrational thinking is a paradigm of false ego that not only ruins happy relations but takes lives of loved ones. The way to avoid such situations is not to act at the spur of moment. Take time to cool down. Sit back and reflect, think of pros and cons; think what’s right?

Brian: “Hi John, what’s new?
John: “Left Oracle joined a startup”
Brian: “Hey, It was a great company and you had a nice salary and position too!”
John: “Yes, it is an ocean; so many managers, so many directors. No one knows what one is doing. I was due for promotion but who cares?”
Brian: “But did you try to negotiate with the boss?”
John: “Why should I? Are there no other companies? Can’t I get a better job? Here I have full authority and am par with the president, plus chances of IPO.”
Like this I have heard many examples where people change their jobs for authority and to please their

false ego. Conflict between wife and husband is a regular affair. Men usually have superiority complex. They think they know better and can do things better than their wives. But they never realize that there are many domains where women excel men. While discussing with our partner about any topic, we should try to think the way he/she is thinking. It is not necessary that we always oppose what our partner wants to say or he/she is not enough mature to give us suggestions. People don’t even realize that they have ego problem and it eventually results in breaking up relations with their loved ones. Wearer knows where the shoe pinches. We must cultivate the habit of thinking from other’s point of view. Then it would be easy to understand the truth and we can maintain happy relationship.